The Things They Don’t Tell You …

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No, I don’t really know who “they” is, but it works. Let’s just say … I knew nothing about what it would really be like to be pregnant. Despite having many friends, mom, aunts, cousins, etc, who had all gone through it, NOBODY TOLD ME! I think they don’t want to scare you too much.

They don’t tell you that you will be so sensitive to smells in the beginning that opening the fridge will you have running to the bathroom to puke. (Happened to me several times.)


They don’t tell you your intestines will be pushed into the top of your stomach and therefore it will be impossible to be “regular” and you will have the deadliest constipation you ever imagined … and perhaps some hemorrhoids to boot.

They tell you you will be very tired. They don’t tell you that at some points you could fall off your office chair and fall asleep on the floor, that some days all you can think about is sleep, but when you want to go to sleep your discomfort will have you waking up every 2 hours, even at 4 months. (As many will attest … the Snoogle is sent from Heaven and the only way I have slept for months.)

They don’t tell you that after 12 weeks of fearing miscarriage you will spend the next 28 weeks worrying that the baby will just die in your womb or be strangled by the umbilical cord.

They don’t tell you you will spend immeasurable amounts of time thinking about and playing with your growing belly, wondering how large it will get.

They certainly don’t tell you that at 6 months you will consider performing your own c-section with an Exacto knife because you’re not sure you can take 3 more months of heartburn, constipation, worry, forgetfulness, lack of sleep, and general insanity.

I know it’s all worth it … but I could have used a little better warning!

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This post is really for Amy Beth’s “Fetus Fridays.” Although I think those posts are supposed to be motherly advice, not whining. But maybe Amy Beth’s Roomie will feel some compassion for what she’s going though too!

7 thoughts on “The Things They Don’t Tell You …

  1. Oh, I think she’ll appreciate this post. 🙂

    One of my other friends who had a baby a few years ago got a Snoogle and l-o-v-e-d it! I slept with it once and let me just tell you that I am now begging Roomie to register for one just so I can have it! 🙂

  2. You’re right, they don’t tell you!

    I’ve been lying in bed most of this week, and I wondered occasionally how you were managing to work a full day, then come home and cook Pioneer Woman lasagna!

  3. That’s because no 2 pregnancies are alike! Your next one, providing there is a next one, will likely be totally different from this one. With my first, I had fatigue the first few weeks; that’s all. In fact, the week before he was born, I played softball with the neighbors! No fatigue at all the second time because I was too busy chasing a 2-year-old! The only sleeplessness I experienced either pregnancy was during the last 2-4 weeks. I never had the heartburn or constipation (until after delivery) or I would have told you! Just relax and enjoy your last trimester!

  4. LOL! There are plenty of icky things that happen that nobody tells ya about.

    Here’s a few of my favorite things that are happening to me:

    -Thicker, longer, shinier hair
    -Faster-growing nails
    -Better blood circulation
    -Bigger uh, “baby feeders” (yay!)
    -Better eating habits, in theory
    -Adding to your family (duh) is pretty neat!

    Hope things are lookin’ up for you!

  5. Heh-heh. It’s just wrong how many surprises await the new Mommy, huh?

    It’s worse than boot-camp, but way better than the best thing ever in the end.

  6. P.S.
    Since you REALLY want to know things people don’t tell you … after Libbie is born, your boobs are going to hurt more than any other part of your body. You will think you have two cannonballs attached to your chest … they’ll be that heavy and that dense. And consider yourself lucky that they haven’t been leaking yet. Mine started that nonsense when I was only about 3 months along, so I had to wear nursing pads for 6 months prior to giving birth! Not fun.

  7. I just had to chime in on this one. My hubs and I are considering starting a family. I have been reading all these preggers books to prepare. They sorta say that stuff but mostly in passing or skimmingly (is that a word?) My girlfriends have told me some of this but still, I don’t look forward to any of it.

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