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I’m feeling torn this afternoon.
I haven’t had a chance to do a Wednesday night Bible study at church for awhile, since I have taught a missions group to girls for 3 1/2 years. I have participated in a wonderful home study with Shawn, done a very brief Sunday afternoon study at church, and led several studies in mine and others’ homes. But Wednesday morning and nights are when our church offers the women’s studies that most women participate in, the good stuff!
I really want to do Esther with a group. I’ve actually already bought the workbook, and it’s just sitting in my office, yet to have been cracked open. And my church is offering it on Wednesday mornings and Wednesday nights. I work full time, of course, so the morning is not an option.
And I’ve sat here for a while debating in my head whether I can give up the precious hours I have with my baby girl.
It’s not that I haven’t been in the Bible studying recently. I use the time I am pumping in my office to read a One Year Bible. And reading Bible studies is my JOB, for goodness sake!
But I love that community with other women and feel that my faith deepens by that interaction. At the same time, Libbie will only be this small once and I treasure each little minute playing with her. Pretty much all of her awake time at home is between 5 and 8.
I could take her to the study with me, but of course it would be distracting and I would have to leave in the middle if she needed to eat or started to fuss.
Experienced moms, what is your advice? I am feeling in my heart that I need to be there with my daughter as much as I can. But I know in my head I also need to pursue the relationship with my Father as deeply as I can!