The One Where I Wallow

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Lately…

I just don’t want to be an adult.

I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to live so far away from my parents and sister. I don’t want to cut coupons and worry about bills.

I don’t want to clean my house. I don’t want to deal with the deaths of loved ones.

I’m tired of my back hurting, my ankles spraining, and worrying about losing weight.

Don’t get me wrong. I love being a mom. I love my husband and being married to him. And there is NO WAY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH I would go back to high school if given the chance. (Or middle school. Shudder.)

It may have something to do with the fact that we’re living in limbo, not knowing what’s happening come August. Not wanting to get too attached to one idea or another. But still … I need some joy. Some peace. Some patience.

Or maybe I just need a strong antidepressant.

9 thoughts on “The One Where I Wallow

  1. Oooohhh, sister, I can relate. My hubs just made the jump from youth pastor to pastor (I’m sooooo not ready) which means we are moving. Slowly. The kids and I are staying put until the end of school. Limbo City. And there’s the fact that I want to put up walls and not get close to anyone anymore because moving away from here has been so very hard for me.
    Can I just curl up in a corner and suck my thumb?
    I hope you find your joy or peace or fix (or all 3).

  2. I can so relate! (BTW, I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of weeks now, and I really enjoy it!) I volunteer at a high school, and I work with the youth at church, and while I wouldn’t go back to that place for anything, I wish that I could enjoy that freedom from the responsibilities of life. Thanks for being real!

  3. Boy, do I get you on this one. Sometimes…I’m just plain tired. It helps to know that we’re all in this together, though. That so many of us struggle with the same issues and worries and…tiredness.

    Thanks for keepin’ it real.

  4. Don’t get discouraged. I feel the same way sometimes. All my family and my husband’s family are 7 1/2 hours away and it’s tough when I see pictures of the whole family doing fun things without us. It’s especially hard now that my sister is getting ready to have a baby and I won’t be there when it happens, won’t be able to see her grow up (except through her blog!), and won’t be able to take advantage of free childcare through the grandparents! I just try not to think about it too much and focus on all the good things we have going for us here in Nashville. I know God has us here for a reason and He is using Michael and I for good works. I just have to remember that He has a plan. And that my sister and I never lived close to my grandparents (Dad was military) and my parents made it work and we turned out okay!

    I think we all go through times where being an adult seems like the last thing we want to do! You are not alone! 🙂

  5. Hahaha! Just yesterday this was me on the phone:
    “I don’t wanna be a grown up ANYMORE. This is NO FUN.” To my mom. And then my seventeen year old brother. i hear ya, honey. i hear ya.

  6. Sometimes being a grownup just sucks. I hear you on that!! And I felt like this a couple months ago – the good news is that I made it through, and you will, too. Until then, I’m sending you a hug. Bloggy friends can do that, right? 🙂

  7. I, too can relate! So many times, I just want to forget about the grownup things and have fun!

    Can you go out with friends for dinner or a movie? Sometimes a little escape is what I need, then I’m ready to dive back in!

  8. Me too! In fact, reading your post brings tears to my eyes because I can relate to it all. I’m tired of it all too. It brings me a bit of joy to know I’m not the only one but sadness that someone else has to feel it too!

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