My Testimony, So Far

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I used to think I had a boring testimony. I grew up with wonderful, Christian parents. I walked the aisle when I was about 10 after having a strong call to missions. Unlike many of the people I knew from youth group, I never really wavered from my faith. I had doubts, sure, who doesn’t? But there’s never been a time I did not believe there was a God who cared about me. I didn’t rebel. I have often asked my parents what they DID to me to make me not want to be bad? They don’t know. I wish they did!

While Mr. V and I have never had tons of money, we’ve always had enough. We never went through a period where we had to eat ramen noodles. We’ve never argued significantly. While we went through a short period of infertility, it was not too awful. We’ve had a very happy five years and have a beautiful, healthy daughter.

At Thanksgiving, when Mr. V still had no job interviews lined up for January, I remember thinking, “Well, we’ve not had any hard times in our marriage so far. Maybe this is it.”


And it is.

Not that our marriage is not wonderful, but situationally it has just been a difficult nine months.

Mr. V applied for many college teaching positions–many much closer to our parents–and got not one interview. We felt so desperate. He then applied to many private high schools in Nashville. He had one interview. They hired someone else the next day.

But God had something better planned for us. Through the Southern Teachers Agency, a very prestigious school pursued him and hired him almost immediately (one MUCH better than the one he interviewed at here).

We had always assumed we would be moving after five years. And then we thought, hey, maybe we won’t have to! And then, ooh, yep, we do. So our house didn’t go on the market until the second week of June and Mr. V needed to be in Chattanooga middle of August.

Needless to say, it hasn’t sold. We’ve had a small handful of showings and nothing to show for it except a pretty clean house containing a lonely mother and her ten-month-old baby.

I want so, so badly for our house to sell so I can quit my job, go be a stay-at-home mom and freelancer, and be with Mr. V in Chattanooga. I let that get to me. A LOT! It’s a daily struggle to not whine continuously and wonder why on earth God would be “doing this to me.”

I can’t tell you how many Sunday School lessons and sermons I’ve heard on patience in the last few months. (This morning, visiting a church in Chattanooga, included.) And Mr. V and I believe it when God promises He will work all things for good. That He has a plan for us. That to Him, one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like a day.

We’re convinced that God will move me and Libbie to Chattanooga at the exact right time for His plan. Maybe there is a reason I need to be here. Maybe there is a reason I need to move there at some particular time. Either way, we are 100% sure God will allow it to happen in His time if we listen to His Word and obey. Bemoaning all the time I have to be apart from Mr. V does no good. I need to relish God’s plan and delight myself in Him.

Perhaps it’s all a big lesson in patience, faith, and God’s timing. Something I need to learn. And if this is the way for God to knock it into my thick head, I’m OK with that. Because I believe He loves me. Just like sometimes I need to tell Libbie “no” for her own good, sometimes He needs to say, “Not now, dear one. Wait.”

17 thoughts on “My Testimony, So Far

  1. beautiful post…maybe you simply had to experience this so you could share such wonderful insight with all of us. I know there will be days when I will remember this post and it will help me to have patience and faith in God's timing.

  2. I am in awe of your faith, my friend! I'm currently growing VERY impatient with God's timing. 🙂 Prayers & hugs for you! Thank you for sharing and for inspiring me to be a better child.

  3. I have been in your shoes and it isn't easy. Separated from my husband while me and the kids remained in the house. I sit here as I type and read your struggle with infertility to having a beautiful child. I too have walked that journey and returned to have God tell me it isn't my time, yet once again. But God's timing is perfect! He has a reason for everything and you might never know what that is. He has promised us the desires of our hearts and he will make you stronger for this! I will pray for your home to sell quickly and for you to be able to stay at home. Thank you for your inspiration!

  4. I can't relate to being apart from your hubby, and I won't pretend to. But I do understand the feeling of wondering why you're being allowed to go through something you don't like. It's a stinky feeling.

    **hugs**

  5. Awesome post about God's timing and our acceptance of it. It's hard for all of us. Will be praying for you, friend! And I want to do lunch with you and Mon!

  6. Jessie, I love the way you share your heart with us. And I am praying for that house to SELL SOON!!!

  7. Love this post! I hope your house sells soon. I know it must be very difficult for you all. God will work it all out! *hugs*
    God bless,
    Amanda

  8. Ugh. Waiting is THE WORST. I have a similar Christian testimony to you. There have been a few really hard times, and I grew tremendously through them. I hope you get to Chattanooga SOON. I can't imagine being apart from my husband. It sounds like you have a great perspective, though I'm sure the day-to-day is rough. ((hug))

  9. Jess, you are such a beautiful soul. Many, many days I waited for your Uncle Bob to come back from a trip at sea. I grew in my own strength during these times. I hope you get to move soon. Love ya, Aunt K

  10. (((hugs))) I don't know if there IS always a specific REASON. I just know that God brings lessons, blessings and revelations out of hard times. And I'm praying not only for those blessings but also for a quick resolution to your move/house/etc!

    Love you!

  11. When I worry I always have to remind myself of how small my request is in relation to what God can do. If God can raise His Son in 3 days He can handle our issues. I know your issue is not the trusting Him part, but the waiting. Just a follower who happened upon this blog…

    Oh BTW…I was impressed by our similarities: I have Christian parents, no really "wild" streak, married 4 years, few arguments with hubby, 9 month old daughter, live one hr. north of Chatt…always talk about moving there..our issue is finding my hubby a job and then dealing with the house stuff. Oh I read your nursing blog also. I quit nursing at 7 months. My goal was 6 mo. then i changed it to one year, but didnt make it. I know many nursing moms would cringe when i say this, but i just got tired of it and my daughter was losing interest also. sorry for the long comment.
    http://www.heathernicoleblog.blogspot.com

  12. Insightful post – thanks. I too at one time thought I had "no testimony." Boy, was I wrong. God has surely given both me and hubby a testimony and a ministry to go along with it. And it included being away from him for 3 long months. One thing I've learned since then, is that I don't have to have been through life's toughest challenges in order to have a testimony God can use to bless other people. And I've also learned that it's not selfish to be thankful for that either…I wouldn't wish hard times on anyone and I'm grateful when I hear of people that haven't had to hit rock bottom, so why should I feel bad for not having been there myself? Rather, I just need to continue to be thankful for all God has blessed me with. And I am!

  13. Thanks for being honest and sharing what's on your heart. We went through a similiar period last fall. Our house hadn't sold yet so my husband moved and I stayed behind for seven weeks with four daughters. Wish there was an easy seamless way to move, but if you're a homeowner it goes with the territory. Oh for the days of giving a 30 day notice on a rental. This time away should make you appreciate each other more. God's blessings on your transition.

  14. This was great to read, as our house just sits, totally empty, with not one looker so far, back in Memphis.

    It is a very tough time for us, financially, but I am so thankful for the opportunity that brought us to Chattanooga, and for just taking the leap and becoming a stay at home mom. It is a daily test of my faith, though, to stay positive and believe that our house will sell or get renters in it quickly.

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