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Sometimes I think I underestimated how difficult it would be to have a child.
No, not the labor–although that was sort of difficult, in my case. And perhaps quite a bit painful.
But the actual HAVING the child, day to day.
Not that I would trade it for anything in the world. I love this little blue-eyed wild child, my prissy princess who is into everything.
Most of the difficulty right now comes from the only parent during the week thing. (Single parents, I revere you. I don’t know how you do it.) Last night I needed to go to the library, our church’s consignment sale, and to a friend’s house to pick up Libbie’s pack and play (had left it there one night a few weeks ago). Libbie was already having a not-so-great day; she was gassy and fussy and hadn’t napped well.
Library: easy and check. Consignment sale: there were no strollers allowed during the hour I needed to go. So I wore her in the Ergo carrier as I battled a hundred other women for prime 12-18 months clothes. I had never tried to do the consignment sale thing before on preview night OR with the babe. She was fussy. She threw her paci on the floor 300 times. I was exasperated. I didn’t get to look through the clothes as much as I normally would have because I just wanted to get out of there.
I did, however, get a really cute pair of StrideRite soft-soled shoes with bunnies on them for $3.
Buckled her back into the carseat. Gave her a pancake I had thrown in her diaper bag for her to eat on the way to the friend’s house. She got crumbs everywhere, of course. Then she fell asleep. Lopsided.
Got to the house. She is afraid of their Husky. Wrestled the pack and play to the ground. Have a very tired baby who I try to give some formula. Mostly she drips it on the friend’s floor. (I think she is over formula. Nor will she nurse at all. Interesting.)
Needless to say, I was exhausted by the time I got home. And then I have to pack because we’re going to Chattanooga this weekend. Where we do not have: a crib, anywhere to sit, cable, Internet, toys, a table, food, a high chair, or pretty much anything else except a china cabinet, Christmas decorations, and books.
This is not exactly what I imagined when I was pregnant. I spent a lot of time thinking about cuddling a tiny baby and not a lot of time picturing a rambunctious almost-toddler trying to be entertained in a house without any of her things.
Have you been equally surprised by motherhood? Have I just scared the heck out of you?