No Answers, Just Questions

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The trouble with simple living is that, though it can be joyful, rich, and creative, it isn’t simple.  ~Doris Janzen Longacre

Nearly every night
I want to be someone else.
For some reason or another,
My soul starts to ache and wish for
a life I don’t quite have.
Tonight it’s Sara Sophia.
Can’t you tell by the way I am writing?

I’m not very satisfied by living ordinary life.

It’s just the truth.

I want something bigger. I want to give my life to something. I want somewhere to funnel all my passion.

And on the other hand, I just want simplicity. I’ve always thought I would be pretty good at being Amish. Being forced to make things from scratch, spend time with friends and family, not be distracted by all of the iPod and computer and TV whirling around our home.

I would miss my blogging and bloggy friends, of course.

So if I think I would like that kind of life, why don’t I live it?

I don’t have answers. I’m just free writing. Things to contemplate. I’d really like to stop wanting to be everyone else and want to be me instead.

I’m certainly not perfect, but I’m not so bad. And God lives in me. Which means I can be stronger, better, than I really am. Know things I don’t know. Do things I can’t do.

And for now, I have eight million more boxes to pack. Yeah, that simplicity thing.

6 thoughts on “No Answers, Just Questions

  1. I can totally relate. Unfortunately all those feelings got stronger & more confusing to me when I came home to be a sahm. It was what I wanted but still today I struggle with that 'passion' that you were speaking of (not of my kids, but … now I'm rambling – I think you get what I'm trying to say!)

  2. I totally get what you are saying. Most days I am happy being the work at home wife..nothing fancy. And some days I find myself wishing I was living someone elses life…most of the time it's wishing I was a SAHM like you! I guess no matter what we do the grass is always greener on the other side..

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