Losing It: Week 5

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I’m doing this Bible study on Esther. (The same one I had this personal dilemma about a year ago. And then went for two weeks, realized the group wasn’t talking about it, just watching the video, and stopped going.) Tonight the Holy Spirit slapped me in the face while I was studying, and I knew I needed to share it with you.

I went out by myself tonight to go to CVS and found myself in the Krystal drive-through, coerced by a tummy that still felt hungry and the excuse, “I’ve already flopped today, why not?”

That is the worst excuse in the book. I am ashamed. And the milkshake I got wasn’t even good–the ultimate punishment.

Chocolate slush still settling unhappily in my stomach, I sat down and started to read Beth Moore’s words about Mordecai refusing to bow to Haman. She eventually got to both Mordecai and Joseph (the Genesis Joseph) being pursued by temptation day after day after day. And yet, Beth writes, “Each responded out of his mind-set rather than his mood.”

The last few paragraphs of the day boiled in my heart until they spilled out on the page into a fervent prayer.

If I had agreed with Your lessons to not be gluttonous as I have agreed with You on not having premarital sex, not cursing, not getting drunk … wouldn’t I follow through like I did on those? The temptation of food is stronger for me only because I have not fully agreed with You against gluttony. 

My heart is heavy with sin. I cannot piecemeal what I want from the Bible. But God is good, and He forgives. After I finished Esther, I just flipped open the Bible and read in Isaiah:

Your anger has turned away,
and You have had compassion on me.
Indeed, God is my salvation.
I will trust Him and not be afraid.
Because Yah, the LORD,
is my strength and my song,
He has become my salvation.
Isaiah 12:1-2, HCSB

Amen and amen. I’m traveling into this week with a brand-new mindset. One that I want to be stronger than my mood.

How did you do this week? Link up your post at Giving Up on Perfect, and don’t forget to visit Ashleigh at Heart and Home, too! If you have no clue what I’m talking about, read about the Losing It competition here.

I feel that I need to add, I don’t think having a milkshake is a sin. It was this time for me, because I KNEW that I shouldn’t. For you, it may be buying a fourth pair of black heels or spending 10 more minutes on Twitter. When you feel guilty about something like this, it’s a good idea to step back and see if you’re agreeing with God on this topic in your life.

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17 thoughts on “Losing It: Week 5

  1. Love this. I say the same thing…I'm already doing bad today, may as well. Thanks for reminder that gluttony is just as serious. Definitely a new way to look at it.

  2. I'm doing a Beth Moore study right now, too. It's on Daniel.

    I was originally doing another study with another group that met at the same time, but it was a "watch the DVD and that's about it." I felt like I could just do that on my own, ya know?

    But this group actually discusses things and it's good.

    Sounds like you're getting a lot out of your study!

  3. Isn't He amazing. He's always talking to us. We just have to stop and listen. Love that He spoke so clearly to you today. Thank you so much for sharing it. Will be praying for you and the other Losing It! ladies this week.

  4. Jessie, you are such a blessing to me! I marvel at your wisdom and your ability to share your thoughts in such a clear, coherent way! I especially love your caveat…I think that's the real key. As Gwen from Weigh Down points out, God wants us to enjoy what we eat. But I can't imagine he wants me to abuse the body he gave me by eating more than my body really needs. For me, the real crux of the problem is that I often try to comfort myself with that milkshake *instead* of turning to God for that comfort. In that way, I'm making food my "god" and putting it before Him. I've never thought about the gluttony aspect,though. Thanks for helping me see another way of looking at this, and for being such a wonderful presence in my life! (((hugs)))

  5. I totally agree! I think gluttony is so easy for Christians to discount as a "lesser" sin because there are so many "worse" ones out there! Adultery, murder and drinking oh my! LOL But God sees sin as sin. He doesn't have hierarchys.

    I'm doing Beth Moore's Esther too. I didn't go to the link you posted about your personal dilemma. I'm curious as to what it was now about the study!

    Good luck and remember that tomorrow is a new day. His mercies are new every morning!

  6. What a wonderful post! I know exactly how you feel. Thanks for being transparent and shedding light on a very hard topic. I love you blog and will back to visit often. 🙂

  7. So true! Thank you for calling it what it is–sin–AND for reminding us that we can be forgiven. May our coming week be full of grace to make good choices.

    Julie

  8. Thank you for being authentic, raw, vulnerable and holding us all accountable. You are a treasure!

    Keep it up.. praying for you friend.

  9. Oh, Jessie, that hits too close to home! 🙂 Thank you for being honest with us – and for reminding me of exactly where I am on this same issue.

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