This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my Disclosure statement for more details.
I’m always hesitant to say that I’ve dealt with infertility.
It seems shallow and disrespectful of those who struggled for many years, or still are unable to conceive. I have friends who’ve had miscarriages, those who have conceived through IVF, IUI, and even embryo adoption. I’m a little embarrassed to share my story because my struggle seems so insignificant compared to most. But today it’s what’s rattling around in my brain, so I just need to go with it.
It took us six months to conceive Libbie. I haven’t had a miscarriage, we had no complications with my pregnancy, and she was a healthy 7 1/2 pound baby girl. All sounds great, right? Well, except that it seems like the minute we decided to go ahead and try to conceive, my cycles stopped altogether.
When I stopped taking the Pill in March 2007 (wanting to get it way out of my system before we TTC), my cycles got very confused. They were always long, before I was on the Pill, but now they were five weeks … then six weeks … then seven weeks … then not at all. I didn’t have a period for 4 months of the 6 months we were TTC and I really had no idea what was going on.
Any of you who have tried to make a baby know that it possesses your mind. Despite the fact that I was only 25 and not terribly worried about *never* getting pregnant, it still seemed like all I could think about was my failure to conceive, month after month. Slowly I heard of one cousin who was pregnant … then another … then another. Two of these were cousins the closest to me in age, who had both gotten married within 8 months of me. I was happy for them. But I was torn up for me.
Somewhere along the way, my sister got tested for PCOS, which I had never even heard of before. She lent me a book to read. Quickly I got into an OB-GYN to be tested (the tests are ridiculous–they pretty much just guess at the diagnosis). Over Christmas that year, the office called me and said I didn’t have PCOS. I was so upset and confused. Then, when I called them back, they said I did. ??? Don’t you love doctors?
So in January of 2008, I started the drug Metformin in a very high dosage to make me ovulate. They gave me a hormone to make my cycle start. I felt like a big petri dish of drugs and upset stomach. I lost a little weight because the Metformin made me so sick. And although it was on Day 21, I DID ovulate.
And we conceived a baby.
How did you do this week? Link up your post at Giving Up on Perfect, and don’t forget to visit Ashleigh at Heart and Home, too! If you have no clue what I’m talking about, read about the Losing It competition here.