Ten Indicators You Are 36 Weeks Pregnant

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1. Constant ache in hips and back causes you to take three hot baths a day and ask your partner to rub some strange joints and muscles. Wonder about cost of hiring live-in masseuse.

2. Pretty sure putting on socks did not used to be so difficult. Determine to only get pregnant again at a time when you will not have to wear socks at the end of pregnancy. Then remember how miserable it is to be pregnant when it’s 100 outside.

3. Fear you will all have to move into the backyard because you are completely incapable of keeping house even a smidgen clean.

4. Regret buying front-loading washer, because you nearly go into labor every time you have to unload it into the dryer.

5. Fear long pre-labor due to dehydration again. Fear drinking too much water because how many more times COULD you possibly go to the bathroom today?

6. Constant repositioning from couch, to floor, to birth ball, to bed, to bath, to laying down. Pretty sure you are frightening your toddler.

7. Fear spousal unit will leave you before the baby comes out, because you no longer are able to keep house/attend to children/cook/be intimate/all of the above.

8. Have memorized all the words to the theme songs of “Sid the Science Kid,” “Play with Me Sesame,” and “Curious George.”

9. Are thankful that if you make peanut butter and jelly with natural PB and organic jelly, it must be good for you and your kids.

10. Time is split as following: 10% examining stretch marks and rubbing cream on them; 20% trying to remember what body looked like before baby was inside; 20% lying on couch moaning; 25% eating; 20% trying to get comfortable enough to go to sleep; 5% actually sleeping. And intermittently going to the bathroom throughout all activities.


Added to Top Ten Tuesday at OhAmanda.

10 thoughts on “Ten Indicators You Are 36 Weeks Pregnant

  1. I really appreciate your honesty about the misery of pregnancy. I'm 38 weeks pregnant now, and I've had a miserable pregnancy like yours. I'm SO tired of women telling my how much they LOVE pregnancy and acting like there's something wrong with me or I'm a baby for being uncomfortable. I think they just have no IDEA how bad it can be for some of us.

    I love that I'm growing a baby, and I can't wait to meet my son. But I think I'll like him a lot more when he's OUTSIDE my uterus, because carrying him is not pleasant.

    Hang in there. You're almost done!

  2. You'll make it through. God wouldn't possibly be planning on leaving him in there indefinitely, right? 🙂 And it seriously took you until now to memorize those classic childrens' tunes? For shame! 🙂 hehe

  3. Big hugs! There are some really lousy things that happen during pregnancy and shortly after the birth and I wish we could just avoid them.

    You and Karen have definitely had rough pregnancies and I'm sorry 🙁 BUT I hope that means you will have really easy newborns. You deserve that!

  4. Ahhh…the misery of the end. Praying for you during it.

    And, let me say. I truly would have rather had to put socks on than be as hot as I was in my last month in AUGUST!!! Absolutely horrible.

  5. Oh girl you sound just like me when I was pregnant, except I felt like that the majority of my pregnancy.

    Hang in there and try to get as comfy and possible.

  6. I hit 36 weeks today and this made me smile- thank you! I should start buying toilet paper by the truck load because I am always in the bathroom!

  7. I have got to stop reading your blog until you deliver! LOL! I'm 29 weeks and trying not to think about those last four. My husband is on vacation this week and says he's making me a "honey do" list because all I do is take naps and hang out with my friends (uh, playdates are for the kids. duh.). Who wants to smack him for me??

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