Having a Son

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Before we had children, I would have been the first person to tell you that I didn’t really want to have boys.

For one, I just didn’t think I would. My mom’s side of the family is rather matriarchal. In one of my favorite anecdotes, my mom went to the OBGYN when she was pregnant with me; and, because of my heartbeat, the nurse told her I was probably a boy.

My mom says she told the nurse, “I have FOUR sisters and FIVE nieces. This is a girl.”

She was right. Obviously. (Although she did go on to have six nephews, as well as two more nieces, just on her side of the family.)

So, I always thought I would have all girls. Having just a sister, girls were all I knew.

Secondly, I am plain scared of boys. Little boys who wrestle. Bigger boys who pee in public. Older boys who think too much with that thing they use to pee. It all scares me. Give me princesses, dolls, tea cups. I can do that. Rocks, fighting, He-Men, snakes? Enough to make me hide under the covers.

From week five or six of this pregnancy, I was convinced that tiny baby inside me was a boy. I based this entirely on the fact that my sickness was completely different than when I was pregnant with Libbie. (And if I can have a choice in the future … I would choose Libbie-sickness over David-sickness any day.) I was sick as a dog, but couldn’t throw up. Nothing sounded good, ever. I barely got off the couch for weeks.

Because I had that premonition, I was none too surprised when the woman taking my gall-bladder ultrasound, whom I had begged to take a look at the baby, told me she was 98% sure this wee one was male.

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Since he’s been born, people have asked me whether having a boy is different than having a girl. I usually respond that I don’t know if it’s boy/girl or first child/second child differences. David is definitely more mellow. But much less textbook than Libbie. He has strong opinions and makes them known.

But since Libbie was very small, I’ve always felt the push of independence — and quite a bit of prima donna attitude. Those don’t radiate from my small boy. He wants Mama, all the time. He is my sweet-as-sugar Doodle Bug.

He is everything everyone told me a nursing boy would be.

I’m reassured to know that when Libbie is 13 and hates my guts, David will still love me. Right? I’m looking forward to having that mother-son relationship. To knowing the ups and downs of having children of both sexes.

I’m sure it will be a wild ride, but I think I’m ready.

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10 thoughts on “Having a Son

  1. Precious pictures and such a sweet post. I always thought having a son would be easier… a less complicated relationship. I don't yet know if that's true, but I was thrilled when my first was a boy. (Would have been thrilled with a girl too… but this is how it worked out!) My son is hugely tall… on track to be between 6'6" and 6'9". And sweet. He lets all the girls off the bus first. I call him my gentle giant. My girls love having a giant big brother to look after them. And I am most certainly enjoying juggling baseball, ballet, karate, and princess dress-up. It's a fun ride. 🙂

  2. When I found out Johnny was a boy, I was like…. WHAT DO I DO WITH BOYS?!

    But he has been such a sweetheart, and he is so gentle! I love love love having a son.

    When I was pregnant with Viv, I was halfway hoping for a boy so he would have a little brother, and since boys were familiar to me by that point. Plus, I thought the hand-me-downs would be really convenient :).

    Now that I have a girl and a boy, I think this is so awesome. I just had a sister and didn't know what it might be like to have a brother.

    I hope for more kids but at this point I don't know what to even root for next. Boys and girls are equally great and special in their own ways!

    I'm glad you have both now too 🙂

  3. Jessie, I could write most of this about my own two kids. My daughter is the oldest, and I was worried about having a boy. But now? She's 4 1/2 and he's almost two (yikes!) and I can't imagine NOT having a boy. My daughter is my delight, and my son is my joy. She is a firecracker, a windstorm, a crashing wave…and he is a warm hug, a silly book, a cozy blanket. I love them both equally, of course, but the love between my boy and I is simpler and easier.

  4. This is all very comforting! Like with our first, I'm hoping for a girl and my husband wants a boy. He wants kids of both genders (and that whole man-son thing) whereas I just love girls.

    I know it in my head, but it's good to be reminded that if it's a boy, I will love him in all his uniqueness (even if I can't reuse the cute hand-me-downs!)

  5. I grew up in a house full of girls, too! It wasn't until later that my stepmom had boys and I wasn't around much then. I was terrified that I wouldn't know what to do with a boy, but apparently God thought I did since I'm having our second boy soon. I'm still holding out for a girl eventually, though!

  6. Awww, I love this post. I love having a boy, too. I'm from a family of sisters and girl cousins and felt as clueless as you, but now I can't imagine anything different. I will say – from the perspective of a former high school teacher – boys are easier in many ways when they are older. They are rowdy and scary, but they say what they mean and they don't hold grudges.

    For now, I love my mama's boy. 🙂

  7. Deep down, I wanted a girl. I hadn’t had much experience with boys. But knowing the facts, like my BFs side is ALL boys except for 1 sister thrown in. No nieces or anything.
    Now that I have my boy, I don’t know what I would do with a girl….lol. He plays rough with his Dad and they do boy stuff. But, he is still my little boy. I never knew how wonderful a mother son relationship could be. I get to kiss the booboos, console him when he’s upset and the cuddles in the middle of the night.

  8. Love this! I grew up with sisters as well…. I have 4 sisters, 7 nieces, and two daughters. I have no idea what I'm having this time around, but I'm honestly scared to death of having a boy. I have no idea what to do with them! My husband desperately wants a boy, but I would love another girl.

    Although my second girl was such a challenge compared to my first–my first was very independent, laid-back and relaxed, and she goes with the flow. My second is a little more like her dad-NOT laid back! LOL. She is more uptight and nervous, doesn't like or trust anyone, and clings to Mommy for dear life. She requires approximately 7 hours of cuddling per day, and I am NOT a cuddler, so she is a challenge for me. But I would not trade her for the world! Despite (or because of?) her more high-maintenance nature, she brings joy to us every day!

    And at almost 19 months, she's finally starting to like her Daddy. But just a little.

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