For Libby

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I don’t want to be a grown-up
when it means having to grow up,
to do things like bury grandparents,
sort four people’s laundry,
feel pain over a credit score.

I thought I’d feel grown-up
when I was married
when I had a baby
when I had two.

Inching near thirty, I wonder
Do you ever feel grown up?
I wish that I could ask her
if, at 80, laying on her death-bed
did she feel like a grown woman?

Or still like the young auburn girl
who swung do-si-do
married a dashing veteran
raised babies with chicken-on-the-bone.

I hate myself for not asking
for more of the story,
and I hate myself for fearing
that she wouldn’t remember.

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3 thoughts on “For Libby

  1. This is the first time i've read your post…just happened upon it (and glad I did). I cried as I read this post, because it made me think of my grandmother, who at 78 says she still does not feel like a grown up. I am turning 32 this month and still feel, and often act, like I am a very mature 12 year old =)
    I often ask my grandmother questions about her life, am so thankful that I have her in my life, even if for short time more.

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