Still Held

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I let myself look at the pictures one last time.

I don’t even feel the tears until I see the smiling faces of our 24-year-old selves, grinning with satisfaction. “I really feel like we’re not being wasteful,” I said. “We got what we could afford and we’ll use all the space.”

Eleven-hundred and seventy square feet that we felt like we owned, even if after a year Mr. V calculated we only really “owned” the tiny half bathroom.

I’ve learned a lot about ownership over the past months.

Two years ago – maybe even two months ago – I would have told you that foreclosure was not an option for us. Our credit scores have already been super high. We’ve always tried to make smart financial choices.

We foreclose today.

__________

When I wrote this or this, I would have never imagined the road would end in foreclosure. Never.

But lately I’ve faced the fact that foreclosure is not the worst thing that could happen to us.

I praise, in the midst of the pain.

We were provided this apartment and new home, which will give us the ability to pay cash for the next seven years.

We have clothes and food and the ability to send our children to school.

We have a Savior who knows our every need and is providing. 

Through all the pain and trial, I believe that as much as I did two years ago. He is enough.

I started this journey with the belief that God would work it all out for His good and it would be a way I could minister to others. It may not be how I thought, but it still is. He is the I AM. The End.

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11 thoughts on “Still Held

  1. Jessie, I am so sorry that you've had to go through this. But I'm so thankful that you're praising Him anyway (because I love you and want you to not be sad) – and so INSPIRED, too (because it's so darned hard to do this, and I need all the encouragement I can get). Love you!

  2. Hugs are with you today. Your faith and dedication to God is an inspiration to us all. Just remember, with Him on your side you can only go up from here. 🙂

  3. His ways and plans are often so different from what we think they should be – all He wants us to do is trust He knows best. It's hard, but He has all sorts of blessings in store for you as you continue to praise Him in the rain.

  4. Big hugs! You are right, God will work this for his good no matter what.

    Sorry that it went this way though :(. I think foreclosure seriously could happen to anyone. The only people who are truly immune to foreclosure are those who rent apartments or who own their houses outright, but then again an HOA or taxing office could foreclose if bills went unpaid.

    Praying for your family! You can make a lot of positive financial headway in 7 years.

  5. I know it is hard to give up on a dream or to feel like you failed…BUT GOD! He knew all along what your circumstance would be and is working good in them today! Don't be sad! and thank you for sharing your journey so openly and honestly!

  6. OH, my heart goes out to you….so deeply….and am so thankful to see you clinging to Jesus….we may not be far behind you….praying I can be as strong as you are.

  7. I am sure that was a really hard thing to do. Sorry you are dealing with this.

    We are 4 months into a similar situation. My husband is working and living in Pittsburgh. My girls and I remain in Nashville trying to sell the house. He is staying with his parents so we are fortunate to not have to fund 2 households. But it is hard on the girls and on us.

  8. What a journey ending (and a new chapter beginning!)

    I would not feel guilty about the outcome. Your situation was truly a result of timing, new construction pricing, and economy. You did what you could.

  9. our life paths are so full of twists and turns it is hard to predict where we will end up. So sorry that you had to go through this process. I am praying for you and your family. Hugs!

  10. Pingback: The Day I Had the Courage to Accept That I'm Too Much - For Every Mom

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