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But the more serious and impassioned part of his talk was about his job-hopping because he thought the next job would be more fulfilling, they would appreciate him, or he would find what he loved. And of course, he knew what he loved – blogging, writing, traveling, being funny.
It’s difficult to throw yourself wholeheartedly into what you love. There’s always something else. Minutiae, family, details, work. Somewhere back there, though, we have a dream. Acuff called it the “but” phenomenon; everyone says, “I’m a ________, but I want to be a __________.”
Which is why it strikes me as so amazing that I can say I am exactly what I want to be. I’ve always wanted to be a writer and a mother. And how crazy blessed am I that those two things are what I do? I certainly don’t have everything figured out, and I always long for more. (Who doesn’t? Our hearts aren’t made for this world.) But on earth, I believe God has gifted me with the talent to write. I just need to figure out how to glorify Him using that talent.
And this blog, writing for magazines, working on a ministry newsletter – those things seem like the right place to start. Through the pain and confusion of the last three years, God has blessed me beyond belief in the area of my writing, opening doors without me trying to shove them open – and then figuring out that the sign said “pull.” Giving our future, our home, our kids to Him has enabled me to lift up my hands and say, “Hey, Lord, just do what You want with me. Cause You’re going to anyway, so it’s way better if I just give in.”
What is your “but”? What is it you really want to do? And what’s stopping you?