Battle Royale: Turning 30 with a Side of Gray Hair

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I’m a little in denial about the fact that I am going to be 30 at the end of May. I don’t know why: I have two kids, will have been married nearly 8 years, my husband is already 30 and many of my friends are. For some reason, 30 just seems incomprehensible.

I was always the youngest at work, youngest in our Sunday School classes, youngest everywhere. And now … I’m not. It’s OK. It just takes some getting used to.

With the event of raising a daughter who is 3 going on 15, and that whole almost-30 thing, I have sprouted quite a lot of a few gray hairs.

But there’s this thing.

My husband has all but forbid me to dye my hair.

There are very few things that he is super-opionated about when it comes to my appearance or what I do. He pretty much thinks I’m awesome, to my 10-year astonishment. But when we started dating, my hair was kind of purple.


source: Emily Carlin

I’ve always wanted red hair, madly, deeply. I have green eyes and thought that I needed that red hair to match. I used to dye my hair a Natural Instincts shade that had the word mahogany in it, I think. (Semi-permanent color, praise be.)

I think right before we started dating I got a little too adventurous, and literally, my hair was more purple than red. To his credit, Mr. V never said anything about it until after we were married. And then he made his opinion known: he liked my hair in its unprocessed state and lived in fear that it might turn purple ever again.

So I’ve maybe had highlights in the last 7 1/2 years, but never dyed it. I like my dark brown color. It has a lot of natural highlights. But it’s also starting to gray here are there.

Want to take bets on how long it’ll be before I give in to the bottle? (Maybe I’ll even go mahogany for old times’ sake.) I’ll let you know the results of smackdown Love of My Life versus Feeling Old and Gray.

15 thoughts on “Battle Royale: Turning 30 with a Side of Gray Hair

  1. I think 30 is quite youthful! Remind me of this when it’s my turn, k? 🙂

    Maybe he’d be open to you getting a professional dye job just to get started as a birthday present? Red seems to fade really fast. My mom has been going red lately, except it’s red for a couple of weeks and then fades to an auburny-brownish. I dunno.

    Anyway, happy birthday in a few months!

      • Oh wow! My dad was 30 when I was born. I bet Johnny will remember my 30th and I’ll be sure to have an over-the-hill one to really make it entertaining. Hee! He’ll be…7. Whoa

  2. At least you don’t have a sister who insists that, b/c you’re her baby sister, you are not allowed to have gray hair, and so she plucks it (literally) from you head every time it re-sprouts. Yeah. I don’t feel like dealing with the inevitable upkeep once I start, so I’m holding off on dyeing as long as possible, but I know I will eventually. And I will go crazy with it. Fuschia or royal blue “highlights” once again (I had them when I was younger). Thank God my husband seriously does not care (at least he does not say a word) about it because I’m just spiteful enough to do it just to prove I can. Not one of my better qualities.

  3. My sister has often colored her hair purple or reddish…on purpose.

    I had a few gray hairs in college so I gave up on coloring it. It’s too much of a hassle.

    I tend to be spiteful like Bridget. I once cut 12″ off my hair because a boyfriend told me not to do it. We broke up 2 weeks later.

    Good luck!

  4. Jessie, relax and embrace it! I have silver streaks in my hair, and they look totally awesome. Or alternately, if YOU want, go for a full dye job a shade lighter than your natural color for a little happy brightness.

    • My goal is to be as relaxed as you some day. I went to bed last night thinking about how nice it would be to have ONE DAY where I was not worried about my weight and just felt good being me.

      • How’s about the fact that you’re AWESOME and your hubby knows it/loves you as you are (as long as you don’t have purple hair!). I’m thinking about shuffling some pins and starting a pinterest board of simply positive quotes to help people feel good about themselves like they should.

  5. I started going gray when I was about 22, so I’m well ahead of you. Highlights can hide grays really well. But, if you want a great argument for dye vs highlighting, tell the husband the price difference between do-it-yourself and highlights at the salon. Promise him you just won’t go purple 🙂

  6. My husband has always wanted me to try really dark highlights. But my hairdresser refuses to do it because it would look awful with my coloring. So he has to settle for the blonde and blonder that I love. I hope y’all reach a compromise. And I felt the same way about turning 30. Even thought I’d been living the life of someone in their 30s for years already!

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