Five Minutes on Identity

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It seems that I’ve spent a lot of time lately typing words into this box and feeling like they’ve turned up nonsense.

More than ever in the past few months I’ve felt that I’ve labeled myself a writer. I have a fairly established freelance career, at least with my former employer. I write for magazines; I write here and on ParentLife; I’m pretty sure that makes me a writer. Not to mention, in my deepest core I know that writing is my passion that intersects with God’s work.

It’s my sacrifice of praise.

But lately, it’s all garbled. I’ve tried to write about blogging. I’ve tried to write about His Word. I’ve tried to write about my kids. And it all comes out confusing and confused.

I write so little that I don’t publish, you might be surprised to discover. I am not a write and edit for hours person. I write; I proofread; I publish. Generally this takes me an hour or so, maybe. Maybe 20 minutes.

Thus what you get here is my natural writing voice, not something carefully constructed with diction and proper punctuation. And when my voice fails to be clear?

I don’t know what to do. I feel a little lost. I will try and edit … but if it didn’t work the first time, it’s rare that I can form it into something that makes sense.

I, of course, have some deep concerns what this might be telling me. Ones I don’t really want to face.

_____________

Well. Always interesting to see what comes out in five minutes. I don’t think it’s a mistake that the song playing on my random Spotify “radio channel” right now is “Let Go” by Matt Hammitt (from an album I am obsessed with currently).

9 thoughts on “Five Minutes on Identity

  1. you say your writing is your sacrifice of praise. continue to give it to Him. then, even in the times of confusion and it not making sense–it is HIS to make sense of. HIS to redeem. HIS to transform into a work of art and beauty.
    i have no doubt He is able 🙂
    i know. not real practical words. but when i struggle with the same issues, i find it’s the only thing that makes sense. the only thing that brings peace.
    lean hard on His faithfulness.
    blessings,
    steph

  2. I worry about what your deep concerns might be… because I write in much the same way. Truthfully, my strongest writing takes me the least time. The more I tweak, the less satisfied I tend to be. I have no idea what that says about me. But I do know that I very much enjoy your writing and seeing all manner of facets of you peak through as your focus shifts and ebbs. Write on, my friend!

  3. When I have those moments. I journal…on actual paper and other times I just open up a blank document and write whatever mess comes out. I don’t usually do anything with that…just save it for later torture of myself. keep at it girl!

  4. I just love when we write and we never know what’s going to come out. It’s almost like a part of our brain speaks and we can’t even think the thoughts without writing them. I say just keep writing. We all go through phases.

  5. I was reading a John Irving interview in time magazine today and thought of your comments…this is what he says on writing…
    “You have to know as a writer the difference between how you consider yourself publicly and the way you must continue to only consider yourself a lowly practitioner. Every new page you start, you are a beginner. And I am writing every day to challenge myself, to make myself better and stronger.”
    “If you presume to love something, you must love the process of it much more than you love the finished product.”

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