Christmas Confessional

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I’m pretty sure we have way too many Christmas ornaments for the rinky-dink tree we currently own. Not to mention for the 2.5 small children we have. This year, David knocked the tree over just once … but he’s still pretty small. Next year he’ll have a mini-helper!

We took it down tonight, which seems very early to me. It’s not that I am super eager for Christmas to be over. But I’ve felt all my inadequacies jumping out of the furniture at me this December. I’m ready for a little bit of normalcy again. Not to mention the space in the living room!

Here’s my Christmas confession: we only did about 7 days of Truth in the Tinsel. I was admittedly unprepared, but we could have made it work with the craft supplies we had. I just did not feel like I could make the effort most days to coerce my whiny 4-year-old into listening to a Bible story. She likes the crafts, but without the story, what is it?

We also didn’t make Christmas cookies, we didn’t eat the candy in our Advent calendar every day, and we watched entirely too many Christmas movies.

I forget about what pregnancy does to my body until I find myself there again. I really feel like I turn into a grumpy octogenarian for nine months, and birth is the only cure. The year I was pregnant with David, I think I gave myself more grace since Libbie was still very young and I was 9 months pregnant, not 6.

I found myself a big mess of disappointment last week about how our December had progressed. I called my mom and sobbed. She talked me off the cliff, but in my heart I still felt hollow. I want my children to know the magical Christmases my parents created. When I am pregnant, it’s just not going to happen for us.

But you know what we did do?

Cuddled and watched The Polar Express until 9 p.m. Made salt dough ornaments. Read a Christmas book every night that the kids got to unwrap, and they loved that. Talked about baby Jesus and Mary and shepherds and wise men. Decorated the tree together, and undecorated it together too.

The only thing that’s going to keep my kids from thinking this was a great couple of weeks is me.

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3 thoughts on “Christmas Confessional

  1. That picture just slays me – the kids are so adorable. Libby looks so much like you, except for the golden hair. What a cutie.

    Dearest Jessie, your kids will remember more about this Christmas – the spending time together in a relaxed way, reading, cuddling and decorating – than they would if you had scheduled every moment with crafts and stories and activities. Give yourself some grace. The most perfect Christmas only had some animals and a feed box full of straw, after all 🙂

  2. i picked a fight with my husband b/c he didn’t pack any gifts for me as we headed out of town for Christmas…he had my new droid hidden in his luggage. :-/ oops!

  3. Those2 “precious blessings” look pretty happy to me. Don’t beat yourself up! You’re doing really great one moment at a time.

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