I Said the Word Boobs to Ann Voskamp.

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I’m still sitting and thinking on everything I heard and learned and felt at Allume this past weekend. I think my actual decompression post will be fairly serious; so while we wait for that, here’s my funniest Allume story.

Speak No Evil Shot
source: warquel via flickr

Saturday morning I wheeled Joshua down to breakfast in his stroller. My mom came to help with him, but she was still at her hotel and I thought I could probably manage on my own for a few hours! But from experience Friday morning, I knew I couldn’t maneuver the stroller and carry my breakfast plate and all-important cup of coffee.

So I walked into the dining room and the first person I saw that I knew at all was Holley Gerth. Given that we had spoken Friday night I guessed she would remember who I was, and I asked her if she’d watch Joshua while I got my breakfast. She obliged, of course.

When I got back to the table I saw every seat was saved, so I tried to just move us to another table, but Holley wouldn’t let me. She and Stacey Thacker made me a place. And then I sat and ate and watched while the table filled – with Lisa-Jo Baker, Ann Voskamp, Tsh Oxenreider, and Kristen Strong. It appears I had crashed an (in)courage/minor celebrity party. Oops.

So at some point during breakfast they started talking. Several people stood and applauded, including Ms. Voskamp. And Joshua started staring at her like he’d never seen a human before. He was absolutely entranced. (Aren’t we all?)

She noticed. So I said, “I think he likes your necklace!” It was big and shiny and yes, that’s probably what he was looking at. But being me, and well, awkward, THEN I said, “Or it’s just that you have boobs.”

I will be accepting the crown for Most Awkward Encounter Ever later in 2013 …

Someone reminded me that Ann does indeed have six children herself and is probably aware of what nursling babies are like.


If you need me I’ll be hiding under my table.

24 thoughts on “I Said the Word Boobs to Ann Voskamp.

  1. ha! you ARE FORGIVEN!!! You were in minor celebrity-hood…and I am not sure i would have been able to be “cool” either…..

  2. She self-identifies as a “Library book looser.” I’m sure she didn’t give it a second thought! Glad you got to go and have good fellowship!

  3. LOVE THIS! I totally say stuff like this all the time. Out loud. In front of people. Grand. God knows whatall I said last week to people who whisper to their friends how weird I was and “did she really say that?” ugh, whatevah
    we totally should’ve hung out and been awkward together!

  4. Wow-almost sprayed my water all over my keyboard when I broke out laughing at your story.
    Ooowee. I know it’s embarrassing, but it is so comforting to know that there are other folks who let similar things slip out like I do.

    I was chatting with a woman on Thursday at breakfast in the restaurant, and asked if she had been to Allume last year. She laughed, and said, “Well, actually I’ve been every year. I’m Sarah Mae, and I founded the conference.”

    If you had been there, I so would have hung out under the table with you, cuz that’s where I went to hide. 🙂

    • It was so fun to get to spend some time together! We need to plan time for another ATL playdate or something. Maybe we could go to the puppet theater – I’ve always wanted to do that!

  5. I completely adore everything about this…and we’ve all had those moments in some form or another. I still can’t fully process mine from the weekend, so BRAVO! You. Are. Awesome.

  6. I love this! I totally would have done the same thing! My husband calls it the Sandal in the Mouth Syndrome. I cannot help it! 🙂

    I wish I would have met you at Allume. Are you planning on going next year?


  7. I so didn’t get to know you well enough at Allume! This is the best story EVER of meeting Ann Voskamp. I just interrupted her in the incourage lounge when she was probably writing something really profound I’ll cry over later. Saw something in the comments about an ATL date…I’d love get in on that!

    • “writing something really profound I’ll cry over later.” snort! We should totally have an ATL-area post-allume meet-up. That would be fun! I’m not really in Atlanta area (Chattanooga) but it’s not TOO far to drive for hugs and friends and fun.

  8. I love this so hard – but what I think I love even more than you feeling the need to hide under a table is the fact that Holley willingly watched your little one to give your mama hands a free moment to feed thyself – and that she and Stacey made room. That’s the heart of this conference beating loud and beautiful. Right there.

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