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It’s just been one of those days.

I feel gross. I still haven’t figured out how to tame my coarse, curly-ish hair in 33 years, and now it’s flecked with gray. My gums ache because I went to the dentist and I don’t floss enough.

I tried to sit down and write this afternoon, blessed with a few solitary and quiet minutes, and the words wouldn’t come. I feel like I have much to write until I sit down, intimidated by the keyboard before me. No wonder every blogger has a book coming out except me.

My kids don’t even attempt to eat dinner for the second night in a row. I’m not sure how that’s possible when they didn’t eat lunch either, preferring to put on a sideshow in Applebee’s for my sister, her coworkers, and everyone else within a mile radius.

Lest you think I am exaggerating about Joshua’s antics, tonight after sitting on his little potty, Joshy stuck his finger in the big potty and then directly into his mouth.


I laid on the floor and felt like the worst mom ever. The worst person. Nothing.

Tonight I need to tell myself something true instead of the negative thoughts that want to fill my brain, saturating me with lies and anger. 

Here is the truth: I am in no way the worst mom in the world. They will eat when they’re hungry. No one is judging me based on my hair, and if they are I feel sorry they don’t have better things to worry about. I am a writer, and God will guide my words at the right time for His purpose.

God says I am His treasure, the one He paid a great price for. And that is the truth – not whatever I happen to think about myself today.

Thank You, Lord.

8 thoughts on “soliloquy

  1. I think there must be sir thing in the air, my grace is all used up today. From colleg dram to my littlest having an accident on the floor at the library, my batteries are dead. Rest assured this to will pass. Hang tough momma 🙂

  2. Yes, we all have days like that, and the thing to remember is that your worth is based on being the child of God, not how your day is going. I saw a quote about surviving days. I forget the exact wording, but it was something like, “So far my track record for surviving tough days is 100%.”

    • That quote made me laugh out loud! I like how it forces us to be optimistic, no matter how horrible that tough day is, while also recognizing how difficult it is to just get through it. I’ll be using that quote often in the future…

  3. Hi Jessie, bad days suck. But every day is not a bad day. May the sun shine down warmly on you tomorrow! I have curly coarse hair myself. And summer is the worst for crazy hair! Here’s what works for me. I never brush my hair. never. After I wash my hair, in whatever inexpensive shampoo, I put in a good conditioner. I like Aussie Moist Conditioner. I leave it in my hair while I finish showering. Then I comb it, with the conditioner still in, with a wide tooth comb. Then I rinse. Getting out of the shower I bend over and shake my head, and while still bent over, I wrap my hair in a towel. I leave it in the towel as long as I can. Then I scrunch some styling gel in and let it air dry. That’s it. the key is to touch your hair as little as possible. By doing this I find my hair to be smoother and softer and the curl look more defined. Good luck! God bless.

  4. Jessie, for the record I love your hair – and your posts. Thanks for brightening my day. I started reading because of the Vanderbilt connection. I have two children at Vanderbilt currently. And I enjoy your opinions on Christianity and life in general.

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