Hi Again, Third Trimester.

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Things I cried about yesterday:

  • David starting kindergarten. (Just thinking about it. He still has about 2 1/2 weeks.)
  • A sad part in Rilla of Ingleside.
  • Wanting Chinese food for dinner.
  • For sending my kids to bed early after they were being especially hooligan-like and disobedient.
  • That we are going to have more kids than we can afford.
  • That I may not be able to hold onto my sanity until the baby is born.

I feel absolutely enormous already. Mr. V says I just can’t remember the third trimester – it’s been 3 1/2 years since I was there with Joshua. I maintain I wasn’t as big with him (you can see my belly at 36 weeks in this post; I’m only 28 weeks right now). I have more time to think about being pregnant this time around, too; when I was pregnant with Joshua I had 4 and 2 year olds keeping me pretty busy 24/7.

Whether it’s memory loss or just that things are different, I am tiptoeing into the third trimester with some trepidation. This is my first pregnancy since Libbie that I haven’t been able to take my antidepressants (they make me wildly sick to my stomach for some reason), so I definitely feel less balanced – and that plus the lovely emotional turmoil and discomfort is a little frightening.

And yet, with baby four here, I am fairly positive I will make it through the next 12 or so weeks. I know I will be very uncomfortable, won’t be able to eat normally, will cry, and will want to sleep all the time. I am incredibly grateful that over the next few weeks, all three of our kids are going to be in school at least three days a week, so I will have time to get some much-needed rest. (And maybe do some cleaning and baby prep!) I am hoping and praying desperately that continuing in water aerobics and starting healthier will keep my back in check this time. I am giving myself a whole lot of grace and asking for help if I need it.

And I am enjoying those baby kicks. Because THIS IS THE LAST BABY. FOR REAL THIS TIME. 😉

 

After His Birth

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(You can read about his birth here.)

I can’t begin to describe the joy Joshua has brought into our lives in the past almost-five months. He is a wildly happy baby with an enormous grin that enchants everyone around him.

joshua

He was very unexpected. We intended to wait until David was at least 3 before we had a third child. But God knew us and our family. I don’t know if we would ever have had a third on our own timing. So I am grateful for the unexpected blessing of our precious Joshua and the light he brings to our family.

But these past months have been so, so difficult. I feel like every day I have a to-do list of 5762759 things to do and I get two of them done. Maybe. My mellow David has taken to having screaming fits at all times of the day and night. Libbie’s need for constant attention goes from adorable to maddening. From “please do a craft with me” to pummeling her brother and screaming at him. She tries to control and make rules for absolutely every situation. David gets confused as to whether he is supposed to follow her rules or not. There is much yelling and hitting between the two of them.

And given that Mr. V and I haven’t slept much in about a month doesn’t help with the whole parenting thing.

libbie

Right now it is hard. The less sleep I get the more my depression creeps up. The less I want to parent the more I know I need to before Tiny Terrorists take over our home.

The summer has been good and bad. Having Mr. V home all the time is priceless with a baby this young. But being unscheduled is very difficult for our extroverted Libbie. Which makes her all the more restless and loud and obnoxious some days.

The good times, they are so sweet. Collecting all my babies on my lap to read stories. Watching Libbie have dance shows and sing long, made-up songs. Holding a tiny hand in the store. Nursing a half-asleep infant with his hand resting on me, staking his territory. All the happy laughs and tickles and declarations from Libbie that “this meat is the goodest!”

But some days I am terrified that I am doing everything wrong, that we haven’t spaced out these kids enough and they will hate us and each other and God.

david

And when one of them wakes up wailing in the middle of the night, I just want to hide under my bed until they stop.

There have been days lately where I’ve considered quitting everything. No more blogging, no more writing, no more social media. These three little ones need me SO much and I need and want to be there for them. Some days lately I’ve neglected all other responsibilities to play on the floor, do puzzles, play trains, color, do crafts. And it’s wonderful.

But writing is my heart, it’s in the depth of my soul. I know once Libbie’s in preschool at the end of the month, once Joshua starts sleeping more, I’m going to be more myself again. I will be able to get up early, seek the Lord, get some of the tasks out of the way.

Right now the days just seem so. very. long. And I am tired of tears. Mine and theirs.

____

I’m always hesitant to post something like this. I hope you know that I absolutely love and adore my kids and would never want to scare off anyone from having many small children! Anne Bogel brought this post from Camp Patton to my attention, and YES. I want you to know that your kids are not the only crazy ones as much as I want to know that I am not the only mom struggling. I wouldn’t trade these three sweet things for all the free time in the world. 

Tootylicious

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Songs I have modified for my little guy.

“Gangam Style” – “Ooooh, chunky baby!”

“I Feel Good” – In response to his tooting.

“Bootylicious” has become “Oh, my booty is tootylicious.” (Yes, he toots A LOT.)

“Here Comes the Sun” = “Here comes the yuck” aka spit-up. (He spits up a lot too. A LOT.)

Just felt you ought to know. Am I nuts or does everyone change songs like this?

The Bunny Trail

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It’s amazing how much chocolate you can accumulate without actually leaving the house.

‘Cause you see, this year, we have our own little Hershey kiss.

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So we haven’t been out and about much. But one trip to school, one short Easter egg hunt at church, and one birthday party in the past two weeks were enough to supply Libbie with three month’s worth of treats. (What can I say? I’m the mean mom who limits candy in a major way.)

And then there’s this SWEET basket I got in the mail from Hershey’s!

This year I chose a giant Cadbury chocolate bunny, a Reese’s egg, mini Reese’s bunnies, and mini Cadbury eggs. Um, yeah. Chocolate, chocolate, and chocolate. And peanut butter. Apparently I was having some cravings when I “put in my order” for this!

So thank you, Hershey’s, for filling this nursing mama’s Easter basket with chocolate to help me get through these first few weeks of newborn madness. I will not be sharing.

baby in hershey kiss hat

Happy Easter! Hope you get your fill of Cadbury cream eggs!

Seventh Generation Free and Clear Wipes: Review and Giveaway

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Someone makes a lot of messes …

There are honestly very few items that I am brand-loyal to. I tend to be a generic kind of gal, unless I’ve had a really bad experience in the past – or the brand name is on sale for cheaper than the generic.

But wipes are the one product where I almost always buy the same name brand. I’ve found they are simply the best.

Recently, I didn’t have a coupon and I couldn’t make myself pay a few extra bucks for the name brand I usually get. We ended up with a store- brand generic … and I’ve regretted it greatly. These wipes somehow managed to smell worse than the poopy diapers. I often felt like my hands smelled like they were BURNING after using them (??). Too weird.

seventhgenwipes

So I was hesitant to review Seventh Generation’s new free and clear wipes, even though I love their company. I do cloth diaper, at least most of the time with David, and one of the big reasons is that I don’t want my kids sitting in chlorine. And yet, I’ve used wipes with chlorine for years. I can’t deal with cloth wipes … especially with my darling son, who poops more and worse than any child I’ve ever met.

I needn’t have worried! The Seventh Generation wipes are just as thick as my normal brand. They are actually unscented, unlike many “unscented” baby items I’ve come across. (The first thing my husband said about these wipes was, “Well, they don’t smell worse than what’s in the diaper.” High praise from him.) They are soft, clean well, and I don’t have to use 10 of them, even on a big mess.

The price isn’t too bad (those linked above have a $4 coupon on Amazon, too, right now!) especially considering they don’t have any yucky chemicals, dyes, etc. The wipes really mimic cloth; even if you use cloth wipes at home, these might be worth a try for when you’re out and about.

The best part is that I am giving away a package of these new Free and Clear wipes! Open to U.S. residents age 18 and older. Use Rafflecopter to enter.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This is a sponsored giveaway from Seventh Generation and theMotherhood. All opinions are my own.