I’ve Been Off

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The other day, I cursed out loud.

That is something I NEVER do, y’all. In fact, you better not tell anyone, for fear I might lose my job. I’m just glad it was just to myself.

It was yet ANOTHER one of those days. I had more things stacked on my plate that I could possibly take. I left work, went and got Libbie. I’d forgotten to pick up some recipes I needed off the printer. On my way to get Mr. V from school, I remembered the breast milk that had been in my bag to give to daycare was still in there.

After a day of running around trying to get things prepared to go out of town, being away from home the night before, chasing reprints at work, and trying to fix a meal for someone who lived far away without going home first…it was too much. I cursed.

I immediately recoiled and asked for forgiveness from God, but it still amazed me I had gotten to that point.

It seems almost every day lately I feel like the stupidest person alive. I guess it’s the 10-second-Mommy-memory. The packed schedule. The sleep deprivation. How many of those days can one girl take?

I don’t want Libbie to have a stupid momma. The thing is, I’m NOT stupid! It’s so frustrating to have this abysmal memory for details. Maybe I need to start doing more brain games or something.

What are your tools for battling mommy brain?

Oh, and the breast milk? I left it in the car overnight.

Top Ten Reasons I Don’t Care about St. Patrick’s Day

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I’m sure missing out … I could look THIS stupid!!

1. I’m not Irish.

2. I’m not Catholic.

3. I don’t drink beer, so no enthusiasm over green beer.

4. Plus, going out to drink would cause me to be up later than 10 o’clock.

5. Leprechauns scare me.

6. I could never find a four-leaf clover.

7. I hate being pinched. (Anyone who has tried to pinch me today has been informed they will be kicked. And I am not kidding.)

8. I have green eyes, so that should be green enough.

9. I don’t look that good in green in the first place.

10. As Mr. V pointed out this morning, isn’t nearly every day some saint’s day? Why did we pick St. Patrick to celebrate as a full-out holiday?

Lest you think I hate every holiday, I promise, I love most of them. The ones that have a point. Like Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and patriotic holidays.

This post is part of OhAmanda‘s Top Ten Tuesday carnival.

The Valentine Rant

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I promise tomorrow I am going to have the ooey-gooiest Valentine’s post you can imagine. It will make you all want to throw up. It is already written and set to post at some undisclosed time tomorrow. So stay on the edge of your seats. :)

But for today, I can still be angry right? Honestly I have just been in an angry mood all week due to several factors: my milk supply has tanked, an article I already wrote is not going to be published, I’ve been sick, I dislike Valentine’s Day in general. But here is the kicker.

When I brought Libbie into daycare Tuesday morning her teacher informed me that I was expected to bring Valentines from Libbie to the kids in her class on Friday. I was flabbergasted. Libbie is THREE MONTHS OLD, y’all. Her class is all infants 10 months and under. I am fairly certain that none of them will realize whether or not Libbie sent them a Valentine.

I posted this to Twitter (which also goes to my Facebook status), and got pretty much the same response from everyone: HUH?

I was tempted to wipe her little baby hand in some hot pink child-safe ink we have at home, smear it on some paper, and say that is what Libbie could do for Valentines. Because she’s THREE MONTHS OLD.

Instead, I bought the cheapest kiddy cards I could find (Scooby Doo, $1.99) and addressed them to those seven kids and three teachers. Because I don’t want to be “THAT” mom on the bad list. But it pained my heart.

I want my two dollars back.

———–

In some unranting news, I’ve finally made the step up and own jessieweaver.net!! If you could change your Google reader and other feeds to go there, that would be awesome. Thanks!

Helpful Grammar Hints for Bloggers

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In one of the great sessions I attended at Blissdom, the topic of how important good grammar and punctuation is on a blog came up. It appears Shannon from Rocks in My Dryer is a grammar-a-holic. I knew I loved her!

I am a copy editor by profession. So please take what follows not as what the general population thinks about your blog but what I and other crazies might think. But really, you don’t want some simple punctuation errors to drive someone away from your blog, do you?

I wish they had let me teach a (very) short session on at least proper punctuation at Blissdom. I am honestly not too uptight about poor grammar when it comes to blogging. Many bloggers write the way they speak, and I think as long as you are aware you are putting prepositions at the end of your sentences (as I often do), it’s OK. But it does sometime baffle me that even very “big” bloggers make some simple mistakes over and over again.

I was never taught grammar or parts of speech in school, and maybe that’s the issue–we have a generation that missed that. I think it was a backlash from too much grammar, too many diagrammed sentences. Perhaps they’ve gone back to teaching it.

Here are a few simple things that will really polish your writing, and it would make me extremely happy if you could remember just one. If you ever decide to write a book and turn in your manuscript so it follows simple grammar rules (AND USE SPELLCHECK), I promise you will make your editor a happier person. I promise you I see all of these things, and much worse, on manuscripts I get from popular, established authors.

1. Put the period and comma inside quotation marks.

This is probably the most common thing I see on blogs. Please, please, PLEASE try to do this. Even if you are quoting someone else, the period or comma goes inside. Here is an example.

Marlene said, “Let’s just be friends,” but I wanted more.

Jo-Lynne, who is cute as can be, was around when I was ranting talking about this at Blissdom. I know it can be confusing, but here it goes.

Periods and commas always go inside the quotation mark. Semi-colons and colons go outside. For question marks and exclamation points, it depends on whether they are part of the quotation or not. If it is (like, “What did he tell you?” I asked) it goes inside. If it’s not (like, I can’t believe he called me “white trash”!) then it goes outside.

2. Please remember the difference between ITS/IT’S, YOUR/YOU’RE, THEY’RE/THEIR, etc.

ITS is possessive, i.e., The book lost its cover.
IT’S is always a contraction for IT IS. It’s rainy outside.

YOUR is also possessive. You lost your boots in the rain.
YOU’RE is a contraction for YOU ARE. You’re going to wear that?

THEIR is possessive. They lost their boots in the rain. (They must be pretty dumb to all do that!)
THEY’RE is a contraction for THEY ARE. They’re running home barefoot because they lost their boots.

3. You do not pluralize with an apostrophe.

This is at least as common as the quotations thing. I think a lot of people just do not know this.

The plural of movie is not movie’s, it’s movies.
The plural of pony is not pony’s, it’s ponies.
The plural of something that ends in s is generally that plus an es. Like glass becomes glasses.

I am really not trying to be catty or offend anyone. I just think if people would follow these simple grammar rules, it would bring a new polish to their blogs.

If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them. Leave your e-mail (it won’t post here), or I will answer in the comments.

The Hormones, They Rage

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Reasons I have wanted to or have cried today:

1. Dropped my mom off at the airport. That made me near-teary. Then I heard this sappy song on the Christian station after I dropped Mr. V off, and I lost it. Bawled all the way to work and had to compose myself just to come inside!

2. As soon as I got to work one of my coworkers came in and sort of ranted at me for something that happened while I was out of the office at the video shoot last week.

3. All of that made me very sick to my stomach and I teared up in Carolyn‘s office just thinking about it all.

4. I don’t have my regular purse and I did not have my beloved Orbitz Sweetmint gum. I did, however, have at least 4 tubes of lipgloss.

5. I have to run an errand after work. There is still little gas in Nashville plus I am exhausted. Whine, whine.

6. My co-workers gave me a lecture on how I don’t need an AngelCare monitor. Now I don’t know if I want it or not but I don’t know what monitor to get. And I don’t want to worry about SIDS. I also don’t want to worry about Libbie getting the cord wrapped around her neck and dying in utero, which is what I have been doing today. Why am I crazy??? (And please…tell me what monitor I need!)

7. I am so tired of being hungry I really did almost cry over it today. Half an hour after getting back from lunch I was ravenous. I don’t understand!! If I don’t stop eating I am going to gain another 30 pounds but I can’t not eat when I am hungry. Arrrgh!

I need to go home and sleep.

Notice

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To: All those who will be visiting my house in the near future

Dear Concerned Party,

I am glad you have found the time to visit my humble home. I thought I should provide you with the following information.

I will not be cooking. I will not be cleaning. The house will be full of dog hair and crumbs and Kool-Aid residue. I will probably be sleeping on the couch for the duration of your stay, including your waking hours. I hope you will not find this offensive.

Adam knows where the local Pizza Hut and Kroger are.

And if you eat my Doritos, prepare to die a cruel and painful death.

Thank you,
Current Resident